Do you know the only reason why you always give up? When you want to change something in the life or start something new? Don’t you know? Then you are going to love this article!
What causes that we are constantly failing isn’t the lack of motivation nor delaying important things for the later(procrastination).
It’s because we haven’t built good habits. You can quit smoking, start eating healthy or even start a business, but if you don’t build a habit for the activity, you will never stick to it.
Our habits are responsible for what we are now(in the positive and also negative meaning). Don’t blame a lack of talent or bad luck for your failures.
For the failure is responsible only your habits you have been building throughout your life, whether you alone or your environment.
But what if you have built positive habits and still you aren’t achieving any success? However, it is easy to give up even if you don’t see any success and progress. Thus, at the end of this article, I am revealing my secret about how I keep myself motivated even if I am constantly failing. And that’s one of the most important parts because life isn’t only about successes.
See also: How to set resolutions for the New Year right way
In order to keep motivation, we have to build good habits. Easy, right? 😀
We are building positive(good) or negative(bad) habits throughout the life. And how many good and bad habits we have built in every area is the reason why we are more successful in something.
Theory has never led to the success, but practice yes(one of the reason why a lot of students are unsuccessful) and thanks to the environment around us which was making us to take an action since the childhood, we are currently either successful or unsuccessful in any area. We aren’t often conscious about our positive habits because we remind rather bad habits than positive habits.
How to build good habits for reaching the success?
If you want to exercise on the regular basis, then you will agree that the first days and weeks are the toughest. But mostly 2 weeks of regular forcing yourself to the action are enough for creating a good habit.
The problem arises when you get into the environment where you don’t have an opportunity to carry out the activity or into the state when you aren’t able to do the activity too(you wouldn’t exercise if you had a flu). If you stop exercising even a few days, you are losing a habit and you have to beat procrastination again.
The more you have been building a habit, the more time it takes to lose it.
I have also experienced it when I stopped exercising for a few weeks. Then I couldn’t get myself to the exercising, I have been delaying things for the later and telling myself excuses like: “If I finish this, then I will have more time for exercising.” But I didn’t have. Then it is hard to force yourself again because the habit has gone and I have to beat procrastination again as I was writing above.
Try to choose smaller and realistic goal(of course the activity must enjoy you), what will help you to build a good habit or break a bad habit. So, if you want to start running, then set goal that you are going to run only 1-2 km though it won’t help your body as much as would be running 10 km. But in the beginning, the point is to build a habit for the activity and there is no need for big goals. When you choose your goal, then the hardest thing in the beginning is to start, it means beat procrastination.
Eventually, I advise you to build good habits every day, miss maximum 1 day.
In order to putting it all together:
- In the beginning choose smaller and realistic goal
- Beat a procrastination and start immediately(when you start, then you won’t have any problem with holding on the activity)
- Skip maximum 1 day – if you skip 1 day, then try to do the activity the second day
- Work only on 1 habits in the 1 moment – don’t try to exercise and read during the pauses, you have to pay attention to only 1 activity
Another reason, why it is so hard to create habits, is that they can drain our self-control. This happens only during the activity where we have to fully concentrate and pay attention to 1 thing.
In my case, it is writing notes from the courses. Although, I enjoy listening to those courses and I always take valuable advice from them, taking notes are not only very tedious but also boring for me and I have to pay attention only to that course.
And because I don’t enjoy writing long notes, I have to engage my slower thinking. But when my mental energy drains, what happens really quick, then I always find myself checking emails, social media or listening to the music on the YT. That’s a killed time for me if I firstly don’t do my work. And that’s only because I have drained my mental energy.
And that leads me to thing that you have to do what you love.
Therefore, writing or other activities in which I am in the so-called state “flow”. I don’t have any problem with doing those activities even for many hours without crying that I am wasting my time with checking emails and social media.
Draining of the mental energy is related to a bigger appetite for unhealthy foods. On the other hand, in the flow we aren’t hungry nor thirsty for the whole time. You can find more about it in the book Thinking, Fast and Slow written by Daniel Kahneman, where he describes laziness of System 2(slower thinking, which is able to think statistically and analytically, but it is also lazy).
Read also: How to beat procrastination once and for all
My secret about how I keep motivated even through the constant failing
After you have created your good habits, then your mindset and thoughts come into play. Your thoughts pretty much influence whether you will achieve success or not.
Me personally happens that in some areas, in which I am trying to master any skill and reach success, I am simply failing, but I am still motivated in doing that activity. Why?
Over the last year, I have changed very much and probably this is the biggest reason why I can persist in every skill I am trying to master. What is that reason? Objectively positive thinking.
Certainly, I am not one of those who have excessively(artificially) positive thoughts and opinions. I am not that kind of man. But I am trying to find something positive in every failure, in what I moved forward and learn from the failure.
Maybe you won’t believe it, but if you recall one of your failures, then you will always find something positive in it, even if negative things dominate. And I only got used to finding something positive or what I learned in every situation which happened to me. And that’s what makes me keep motivated all time.
For instance, if you decided to quit smoking, you weren’t smoking for 2 weeks, then you went out drink alcohol with your buddies and you smoked some cigarettes. Then don’t worry that you had smoked some cigarettes. Look at it in a positive way, you hadn’t been smoking for 14 DAYS, what can be a success for you and motivate you forward. Or you can say yourself that you were drunk and if you are drunk, then your self-control is very low.
Don’t worry about that 1 day, do not give a damn about it.
Also in diet, there is something like cheating days, when you once in a while break your diet. You can look at that 1 day when you were smoking like on the cheat day. Much better than worrying about failure and much more motivating for you.
The same, when let’s say you are going to business meeting with your business partner and it doesn’t work. The problem isn’t always in you, mostly it is in the others, e.g. the business partner was in the bad mood because he had had an argue with his wife before. You can’t influence this, so don’t worry about something for what you aren’t responsible and try to understand the other person rather than swearing on them. Always positively explain every your failure, learn from it and try to be empathic.
Another thing which very relates with a positive mindset is looking objectively to the future.
When you image your positive, but realistic future in your mind, then it will drive you more and more forward. Of course, I am not saying that you have to think only about positive future, thoughts without action are unnecessary. But if you are thinking about your positive future(or screenplay of your future life) and also follow your goals and dreams, then you will achieve success for sure.
This is the end of the 3 part of my guide to motivation. To sum it up, you have learned how to build positive habits and keep them + now you know how to properly set your positive mindset in order to stay motivated even if you are constantly failing.
But I know that after reading all of the 3 parts, you can be still confused and unsure about what to exactly do. Thus, the last part of this mini guide is going to be about how to put it into practice immediately.
I am going to reveal 3 insanely effective tips for immediate motivation and accomplishing your goals. If I had to choose the most important part of this guide, then it would definitely be the last part which I am going to publish very soon. It’s sufficient to put into practice only 1 of these 3 tips and not only you will immediately beat procrastination, but you will also build a habit for your activity.
Thus, in order to not miss this last and the most important part of the immediate motivation, then join my newsletter in the form below the article and I will let you know.
If you liked this article and you have friends who often give up easily, then share this article with them.
Question for you to the discussion under the article: “What is your bad habit you would like to break?”